OH THE HUMANITY!
by cherry-cherry-girl
Summary: what would happen if the gw boys came to an all girl's school. rated pg-13 for language, and violence


OH THE HUMANITY ****

OH THE HUMANITY!

Hey! I'm cherry-cherry-girl, you could just call me cherry if your lazy…like me….shut up….anyways…one day I was bored in math class, and my thoughts wandered over to the pics of Duo I keep in my binder (hehehehe) Then as I stared into his beautiful 2 dimensional eyes, I thought to myself, "what would happen if the GW boys came to my school?" Of course this would be hilarious on it's own, but my school happens to be a bit unique. It's an all girl's private school. That's right, school girl's in kilts. That's why I decided to make this fic cuz personally I find the possibilities endless…and all hilarious. Please R&R cuz I'll love you forever! Ok some stuff you'd need to know is: 

  1. I've changed the name of my school so you guys don't come and try to kill me if you don't like this fic *laughs nervously* but I dodn't change the names of characters…so when my friends read it they'll know who I'm talking about. Hehehe.

  2. Italics mean thought or telepathic links (not like there are any…)

  3. *~*~*~*~*~* means change of scene

  4. additional info: yes I do have male teachers at my school, and yes I do refer to them….hehehehe anyways, all the people I refer to aside from the GW boys are actual real people in RL (real life) 

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The sun was shining down on the girls of Labello Academy. The rays glinted off the windows on the "forbidden" fourth floor, and young girls in kilts sat scattered all over the school grounds. Lauren looked up from her ham sandwich. It was another boring day, she sighed and looked over at her best friend Elizabeth who was busy freaking out at the amount of fading her sailormoon lunchbox was doing. 

"EEK! Now Venus's neck is gone!! What am I gonna do ren? WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?!" 

"riiiiight….ok Liz calm down, the world isn't gonna end, it's just her neck"

"but without a neck her head could fall off!" 

__

"and everyone says she's the smart one…riiiiight…" Lauren thought to herself.

They finished they're lunch and packed up. "Computer lab?" Liz said looking at Lauren as they walked back inside the school. 

"You know it! I hafta work on my site, I'm not sure what else I can put on it…" They walked on talking about they're websites, the usual, never expecting how they're day would change tomorrow.

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"I'm home!!!" Lauren yelled as she opened the door to her home. She was greeted by the excited barks and whines and a distinct howling war cry from her three dogs. 

"hey Tipsy, jasper and Moses, where's mom?" The dogs, being complete morons (as they tend to do) sat looking blankly at her. 

"never mind" Lauren sighed and walked into her kitchen. I guess mom's not home…neither is Jill" (A/n my little sister…brat!) She grabbed an apple and ran upstairs to her room. Her closet was covered in printed out sailormoon, escaflowne, and cardcaptors pictures. A huge sailormoon wall hanging hung above her bed. Lauren plopped down at her desk and looked at one of her many pictures of duo. 

"GOD! Today was such an ass! It was so boring I'd thought I'd die! Or brutally kill my math teacher….hehehe" She said jokingly aloud to herself. 

"DAMNIT! I've got homework….meh, dumb teacher never checks." Lauren threw her binder back in her bag and went into her computer room to write another fanfic.

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"FOR THE LAST TIME LAUREN! GET OUT OF BED!!!" Lauren groaned. It was the third time her father had tried to get her up that morning. She was definitely NOT an morning person. She got up and stretched. Slowly…VERY slowly she pulled on her uniform and got ready for another boring day at Labello. "CRAP! I'm late! Why can't I get outa bed? Damnit! Well, I guess my carpool's waiting this morning" 

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"MORNING!" Elizabeth's cheerful voice met Lauren as she walked into her classroom…on the third floor. When she had caught her breath from climbing a trillion stairs she managed a weak "hi" Lauren looked around at her classmates frantically trying to finish they're various homework assignments as she walked to her seat in the back of the class. 

"You see cardcaptors last night?" Liz asked as Lauren sat down.

"CRAP! I missed it!" She jumped up and kicked her desk.

"s'ok I taped it." Liz returned to the fanfic she had printed out and was reading.

"thanks liz."Lauren turned her attention to the bubbly 14 year old who came skipping through the door. 

"HEY REN!" she yelled. 

"Hey caroyln. What's up?" 

"Well, yesterday I had a to do 500 m of swimming and bike to Heddingly and run 15 miles for triatholon!"

Liz and Lauren just stared blankly at Carolyn.

"Oh gotta go! bye!" carolyn said as she looked at the clock. Liz and Lauren watched as she skipped out of the classroom all the while wondering how she manages to get up in the morning. Lauren groaned. Time to get ready for another boring day.

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A black van with tinted pulled up outside Labello Academy. The side door slid open and 5 figures were pushed out onto the concrete. One stood up, he had an short brown hair and looked at the van as if her wanted to kill it.

"why are you doing this to us, and why are we here?" the figure asked. From somewhere inside the van a voice answered. "cuz we can. Mwahahahahahaha!!!" then the van sped off. 

"You know Heero, you'll give yourself a headache if you stare at the van like that any longer." Another figure with a braid said standing up. 

"This is an injustice!" A sleek haired figure said standing up.

"OH shut up Wufei, we can't do anything about it now." The braided one replied.

"KIIISAAAAMAAAA!!" Wufei shouted and pulled out his kitana.

"DUO. WUFEI. CUT IT OUT!" yelled a blonde figure wearing pink. 

"wow that's interesting quatre, you usually try to bring peace in a sissy-er way." Duo said laughing.

"leave him alone" Heero growled at Duo. "Trowa, do you know where we are?"

The last figure stood up. 

"looks like a school…"

"well here's a plan, why don't we go inside?" Duo said sarcastically as he walked towards the door. They all followed. 

"WOW! Look at this place!" Quatre exclaimed as they all looked at they're surroundings. Suddenly an adult lady approached them. 

"are you visitors? If so you have to go to the office now. It's on the second floor to your right." Then the lady walked away.

"umm…alright, I guess that's where we're going." Heero said as he led the others to the second floor. All of a sudden a loud buzzer rang and the halls were filled with dozens of girls wearing short blue kilts. Heero looked shocked at the sudden crowd, Quatre looked at some of the short lengths of the kilts and blushed furiously. Trowa stood silent in the corner, Duo was falling all over himself at the sudden explosion of beautiful girls in skirts, and Wufei, well frankly he looked terrified. "So many onnas. can't take them all on myself. all are stronger than me together. frightening. scared. Why? Why? Why are there so many onnas?!?!" Trowa looked down at the cowering Wufei and shook his head.

Suddenly, from the other end of the hall, two girls approached. They belittled all the others in beauty, and grace. One, had shoulder length blonde hair, and blue eyes. The other had a dark brown hair pulled back into a short ponytail. Time seemed to stop as they approached. Duo picked himself off the floor and tried to look sexy leaning against the wall. Wufei stood up and tried not to whimper at all the onnas. Quatre straightened his vest and tried to look cool….it wasn't working (A/n ouch liz quit hitting me!) Trowa stood in calm silence. Heero didn't know why but he had this urge to impress these girls, so he crossed his arms and tried to look hot. (A/n not like it's hard for him!) The two girl's eyes fell on the 5 boys. They looked at eachother, a knowing glance, and nodded. Then something happened. The two girls rushed towards the gw boys at a break-neck speed. The blonde one was heading towards Duo, the brunette towards Quatre. The blonde one jumped on Duo, knocking him to the floor, and began covering him in kisses. Despite his surprise, Duo seemed very impressed. The brunette grabbed onto Quatre's legs and took him down. There she pinned him to the floor and started to kiss him also. Quatre and the other gw boys were too shocked to move. Suddenly Heero took charge and whipped out his gun. 

"Omae o Koruso" He pointed it at the blonde. Her eyes went all big and cute as she stopped kissing duo. 

"Oh Heero! I love it when you say that!" Heero was startled.

"how do you know my name?" he asked still pointing the gun at her forehead. She looked over at the brunette who was still kissing Quatre. 

"long story."

"Um…I'm not saying I don't like this or anything, but I was wondering….could you get off of me please?" Quatre asked politely of the brunette.

"no." she said simply and went back to covering him in kisses.

"uh liz? Um…we'd better stop, people are beginning to stare." The brunette looked up and pouted at the blonde. 

"oh all right Lauren" she stood up releasing Quatre from her grasp. The blonde stood up too. 

"well, welcome to Labello Academy. Uh…how'd you get here?" Lauren looked over to Heero.

"long story…so uh…where's your bathroom?"

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They all sat outside under a huge oak tree. From left to right: Lauren, Duo, Heero, Liz, Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa. 

"So…this is uh..interesting…" Duo said looking at where they were.

"Don't you guys have class? I mean this IS a school." Quatre asked Liz.

"yeah, but you guys are way too special to pass up, so we skipped." Liz answered simply.

Quatre looked shocked but Wufei spoke before he could say anything.

"Who in their sane mind make a school full of onnas?" he looked around nervously. Liz and Lauren just laughed. "that's a question for sister Susan I guess." Lauren answered with a smile. Duo jumped up. 

"You have nuns here?!?! That's great! Can I meet em? Can I?!?! That would be so COOL!!" 

"uh duo, seeing as we're skipping class right now, we wouldn't wanna get us caught by going and talking to a teacher right now." Lauren said pulling him down. Duo shrugged and sat down putting his arm around the blonde. All of a sudden, a group of snooty girls in very VERY short kilts approached. They all wore too much make-up and were obviously bimbos. Again innocent little Quatre looked at they're skirts and blushed. Liz, seeing this, frowned openly. Wufei cowered back in fear, for these obviously were the worst kind of onna and at this moment he wasn't emotionally equipped to deal with them. Trowa looked on in dusgust and muttered something about wishing Catherine was there with her daggers. Heero, noticing that these girls were the enemy brought out, in full force, his trademark death glare. Duo's eyes widened as he saw the girls, then he looked back at Lauren and realized she was ten times prettier then them. 

"oooooh hello, who are these people Lauren?" said the ring leader in the most bimbo-ish, thoughtless way she could have. 

"what do you want celine?" Lauren growled back.

"Well we just wanted to be properly introduced to your friends." as she said this the rest of the bimbos decided to sit down among, and on top of, the gw boys. Heero fingered his gun as a particularily dumbass bimbo named Jordan (A/n a girl) jumped on to his lap. 

"Omae o Koruso" 

"ooooh! And they're foreign too! Is that 'I love you' in german?"

the boys and liz and lauren all shook they're heads. Massive sweat drops accompanied it.

"This ones cute!" shouted one named Lynsey as she jumped on top of Quatre. Liz looked as if she was about to kill her when Lauren grabbed her arm, and gave her a "let-me-handle-this-and-if-it-doesn't-go-well-you-can-kill-her" look. Liz plopped back down in her seat and glared at Lynsey.

"Look Celine, we really have to go, sorry to leave you" Lauren said as she stood up.

"oh you can leave, we'll be happy to entertain the boys while your gone." She jumped into Duo's lap. Heero looked over at Lauren pleading with his eyes for the chance to kill the girl who was on his lap and playing with his hair. Lauren looked over to Liz, who was still trying to telepathically kill Lynsey. Then she looked at Celine, who was giggling and playing with Duo's braid. An infuriating rage built up within her. She walked over to Duo, grabbed his gun and shot Celine. 

"Finally! She was getting annoying!" Duo pushed celine's dead body off of him and stood up. All the bimbos were screaming hysterically. Liz, taking advice from Lauren's actions, grabbed Quatre's gun and blasted Lynsey in the head. This resulted in more hysteria from the bimbos. Heero, not being able to take it anymore, grabbed his gun and shot every other bimbo there. All the gw boys pushed the dead bodies off of them and stood up. 

"GOD! That screaming was agitating. You'd think they never saw somebody killed before." Duo said as he placed his arm back around Lauren's shoulder.

"What are we gonna do with the bodies though?" Trowa asked looking at the pile of bimbos.

"Don't worry." Lauren took out a pouch from her pocket and sprinkled a dust on top of the pile. In a flash of light, the bimbos were gone. 

"HEY! How'd you do that?" Duo asked looking at lauren. 

"I'm the author, you moron, I can do whatever I want. Like this for example."

She sprinkled dust and suddenly a bunch of tap dancing eggplants danced by.

"see?"

"oh…I get it." Duo shrugged.

"HEY! If you can do that, why don't we blow this popsicle-stand and hightail it to Barbados?!" Liz shouted with excitement.

"why liz, what a marvelous idea." Lauren giggled as she sprinkled dust on all of the characters and in a flash of light they disappeared.

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End file.
